But I DO want people to reply. I just put up defenses.

I am lonely. And it’s hard for me to really be myself around people. Let my guard down, ya know?

So, here I am. I’m here to tell you that I never mean to offend. I’m just scared.

When my beckoning all-caps message to the world sits at the bottom of an email, warning intruders of the dangers of even thinking about replying, I am really screaming to be loved.

I am a misanthrope. There is nothing I want more than attention, and yet, I thwart the very possibility of it. MailChimp and ConstantContact inform me of my uselessness. I can never please them. Father is angry. Nobody knows what to make of me.

Sure, I get the word out. Sure, You see the message.

But do you see me?